Honestly? I’ve gotten more and more annoyed at people who blame things on “fandom” as this strange abstract hivemind. This counts for Doctor Who as much as everything else; there are lots of fans out there, male and female, and it’s been a long time since it was possible to enforce a Single View Everyone Has To Have Or Else.
Please do disassociate yourselves from shitty communities, and please do find better ones. Because there are a lot of better ones out there, and they’re not based around gender; they’re based around the willingness of the participants to be open-minded and have fun.
You’re absolutely right, of course. But it’s been my experience that in spaces that are both devoted to things I like and primarily male, the atmosphere is toxic, while in spaces devoted to the same things but with a significant number of female participants, it isn’t. How much of that is cause and how much effect (and how much is down to my particular tastes) I don’t know. I certainly don’t want to imply that primarily-male groups *can’t* be good, nor that such a thing as ‘fandom’ exists in any real sense.
But the Doctor Who fans (to keep the example we were talking about) on GallifreyBase, for example, are a very different group of people from the ones on Tumblr or LJ. I like the latter far more.